Can Aging Make You Dislike Your Photos?

The quick answer is "yes". I have been teaching my "How to Become Photogenic" workshop in different countries, for almost 25 years, and a common trait of most of my clients over 40 years old is disliking their photos for a reason they are seldom aware of. Their mental self-image does not match reality. They look at a current photo, subconsciously hoping to see a younger, more athletic version of themselves. 

How can we fix this problem? 

My studies of psychology, even more than my experience as a professional photographer made me identify this phenomenon in my first years coaching this program. Part of the "How to Become Photogenic" training involves a technique called Body Mapping, where I take several photos of my clients—face and full body—for the mere purpose of sitting with them and identifying what they like and dislike about themselves. From there, I can show them how to highlight their best assets and disguise their worst, not only during our photoshoot coming next, but also, in videos and real life.

The technique is pretty efficient and generates life-lasting results. From time to time, however, I encounter clients who are looking at the same images I am and seeing something entirely different. I am familiar with the fact that we tend to be tougher on ourselves than others would be, but my job during this type of training is telling my clients the truth. If I see something related to one's body, posture or body language that is not ideal, my commitment is to point it out and help them fix the problem. With that in mind, when I sit with someone who is 125 pounds and thinks she is obese, I know she probably suffers from body dysmorphia. The same happens with aging, when someone is subconsciously looking for that skinny body or unwrinkled face that no longer exists. 

So let's start with how to properly face your self-image. Most people get impressed when I prove with multiple case studies that photos show more about one's physical reality than the mirror, and here's an example. Have you ever desired to start a diet, and you are always postponing it? Then one day, someone posts a photo of you on Facebook and you say, "Oh, my God, I need to start this diet now. I look worse than I thought!" and this time, you do start the diet. What happened here? Mirrors are the usual way we interact with our images, and yet, they are not the most efficient ones. The reason is that when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we are normally getting ready to go somewhere or just doing basic activities like brushing our teeth or shaving. In our busy routines, we are not really paying attention to how we look (much less what can be improved) unless we spot something out of the ordinary. Also, mirrors can evoke unreal feelings and perceptions. If you are truly analyzing your face or body in the mirror, there are a lot of voices in your head. If you got a lot of criticism about a certain part of your body, your reflection may still seem to show those horrible things, even years after the problems have been solved or at least minimized. On the other hand, if you have a lover who always says you are extremely attractive, you may be several pounds above your ideal weight and not see it. 

Photos are implacable. They show the truth and during this initial study, of course there will be good and bad photos. My first lesson is, try to develop a scientific look when you analyze your photos. Pretend you don't know that person, and just make a list of what is great and not so great about him or her. Most people laugh, beg me to delete their bad photos, and then, gradually detach their emotions and start developing that "eye" that will be their life-time ally to look amazing. Like in business, you can only solve a problem after you become familiar with all its facets. My clients go through this phase of the process, and once we find out their highs and lows, I customize a training program to help them with everything from production and body language, to poses and expressions that will favor their body types in all media. 

This is a smooth and fun experience. What I recommend to those who may be having the "aging" problem I mentioned is, don't let it be in your way. Even though we would love to remain young and fit forever, we cannot rewind the clock and our best bet is trying to look amazing for our age. I don't say this lightly. Aging is not easy. I'm pushing 50 and adding up to the inevitable wrinkles, years ago I was ill and endured horrible physical changes like hair and weight loss and aging spots on my face. I also learned a lot about overcoming unpleasant physical changes by doing pro bono work for cancer survivors. Many had acquired scars and mutilations to be breathing today. Some lost their partners and we can only imagine how it must feel. The point is, if these brave people can face my camera and find ways to look good again, so can you. 

Instead of avoiding cameras because you dislike the way you look, try this: take a moment alone, set up a location at home or outside that has good lights (see my tips on lights) and take a few photos of yourself, serious and smiling, looking straight at the camera and sideways. Big and tiny smiles. Don't look at your photos right away. When you are done, remind yourself that those images you are about to see are not who you are. They are simply the way you looked a few minutes ago. With the right technique and production your look can change in days or weeks. It happens in my studio all the time. Then, take a deep breath to internalize this statement and don't cringe if you don't like what you see. Remember, the more scientific your eye is, the more objective you will be to point out what is really wrong with you and what you were fantasizing about the past. 

If you manage to put your analysis on paper, you'll discover a world of options to look the best you can. Get inspiration from regular people or even celebrities who are your age and have your body type. They have all the image consultants guiding them to shine. Pay attention and you will see that as people age, charm and elegance gradually replace physical beauty. Find your real flaws and see how other people with the same problems are solving the issue. Find your strengths and show them off. This way, you will gradually trick your brain into forgetting who you used to be and proudly embrace who you are now. Nothing will be more physically and emotionally rewarding.

4 Tips to Become More Photogenic for Life!

If you think that being photogenic is like being beautiful, is time to demystify this assumption. While the latter is defined by your DNA, becoming photogenic is a skill that can be learned through constant practice. 

I was lucky enough to spend the past two decades combining two careers that I am passionate about. One in corporate, recruiting and training professionals; and another as a photographer. I have shot portraits, professional headshots, fashion and fine art. By paying attention to hundreds of people from different ages and body types, I developed an eye to what made anyone look great on camera, and it comes down to charm and engagement with the viewer more than good looks. Most importantly, I discovered a path one could follow to acquire this set of skills and look their best in photos and video, for personal and professional development.

Here are some effective tips from my PictureCure® Methods.

1- Lights: The word, photography, itself comes from "lights", so the first principle of being photogenic is minding the environment where your photos are being taken. It's impossible to look good if you have the wrong lights. Shadows or overexposure may change the color of your complexion and makeup, accentuate skin flaws, dark circles or make you look older. After you check the other tips, click HERE to learn how to get the best out of natural and artificial lights. 

2- It all starts with your eyes: Sometimes you look at a photo and the subject seems about to jump out of the screen or the page. His or her eyes are vivid and you can see their joy, sadness, hatred. This is common in photojournalism, when photographers are capturing real facts with real emotions; or in advertising, where subjects are acting out emotions. When regular people come to my studio for portraits or professional headshots, the emotion I sense is normally tension and discomfort. Most photographers try to relax their subjects with conversation to "catch them" in a flattering pose or while delivering a good smile. That's too casual and you don't want to depend on the photographer to look great. The way you can control this process starts with facial exercises. Daily practice ensures fast, everlasting results, and an efficient way to get used to doing it is incorporating a 5-minute practice to some routine activity you already perform in front of the mirror, like shaving or brushing your teeth.

Try this: Look in the mirror and squint as if you were trying to read something far away, just to identify those tiny muscles around your eyes that control this movement. We hardly use them consciously, so feel them. Imagine summoning them at will. Once you have done that, your daily exercise will be simply raising your lower eyelid a few times (without also lowering the upper one or your eyes will be almost closed). Raise the lower eyelids and hold them in place a few times. 

The purpose of this exercise is to help you recreate this eye movement whenever you are in front of a camera, replicating the looks of someone "paying attention" to something interesting. The effect in photos is that you look engaged, comfortable and most importantly, confident. People tend to open their eyes wider than normal when they are tense. That happens frequently in studios and the result is that you look uncomfortable and intimidated. If you learn to squint a little, you engage your viewer with your eyes as if there were no cameras between you. Look at the center of the lens, imagine the final viewer and try to forget about the photographer.

3- Smile! That seems simple and for most people it is, but here are some important aspects to consider. 

If you are not happy with your smile, take this tip. If you are, skip to section b.

a- A perfect smile requires that one's lips curve both sides upward forming a half-moon. Some individuals, out of discomfort or lack of practice, do not curve both sides or deliver a flat trembling smile. The trembling of some muscles, normally the cheeks, is evidence of minor atrophy of such muscles due to lack of use. If you have this problem, practice smiling big when you are alone. It will look fake and uncomfortable, but this is not your goal as a smile. The purpose is stretching and gaining elasticity in areas of your face that are currently dormant. 

Try this: Look in the mirror and deliver a large, exaggerated smile - as wide as you can and try to hold it in place for 15 seconds. Some muscles can hurt a little from the effort. Don't worry, with practice, they will grow stronger and the discomfort will cease. Pay attention to the design of your smile. If you are not using all the right muscles, practice until you have both sides curving up equally. By repeating the new movements, your facial muscles will adjust and you will be able to get to a natural, perfect smile.

b- Another problem that may afflict even those who can deliver a perfect smile is not being able to hold their smile when the photographer takes took long to shoot. To hold your smile in place and avoid having your picture taken right when your smile starts to fade, I recommend that during the previous eye exercise in the mirror you add a few extra seconds to work on your mouth area.

Try this: Offer the mirror your best smile.Then try to hold it for 20 seconds. Do it a few times and when you can do it without trembling cheeks, do it every day for 40 seconds. This is an incredibly helpful exercise. It will give you immense control over your smile, and also keep your facial muscles strong and firm. Regardless of photos, this helps you look young! 

4-Know your body and face well, so you can discover what truly works for you. In my PictureCure Method this is called Body Mapping®, the foundation of looking photogenic for life. There are tons of videos about how to become photogenic and most try to convey that it is a one size-fits-all experience. That's a common source of frustration to people who try superficial tips and getting little or no results, ultimately label themselves as "not photogenic." 

Try this: Take several photos of yourself, smiling and serious, with your face turning to the left, to the right and facing forward. Try three smiles: a tiny one, showing no teeth, a full smile and one in between. 

Analyze your photos to see what you like and dislike and why: pay attention to every part of your face: smile, eyes, cheeks, eyebrows, forehead and lines forming with each facial expression. See which angles and smiles are more flattering. 

Write down what you like and dislike about each facial expression and angle you tried. This will help you identify: the great assets you should highlight, the features you dislike and should downplay, and which poses and expressions work and which don't. Elect one or two best expressions/poses and dissect them to remember exactly what you did to achieve them. How wide was your smile? What were you doing with your eyes and eyebrows? Was your chin up or down?

Photograph yourself more often, practicing only those best poses and facial expressions and they will become second nature. 

How Selfies Can Make You or Break You

Smartphones have undoubtedly revolutionized the way we communicate, replacing calls with texting, and the way we shop and run errands by having our banks, restaurants and favorite stores at the tip of our fingers. 

What I also noticed, after teaching my workshop "How to Become Photogenic" for over two decades, was that smartphones also changed the way people deal with photos. If a regular camera had been embedded in the back of the smartphone, it would have been a mere inclusion of another device, like a flashlight or a calculator. No big deal. But a "selfie" camera allowing us to see ourselves on the screen is not just a new gadget. It created a new relationship with the experience of having one's photos taken and dealing with their self-image.

Around 2015, I started hearing controversial opinions about using the "selfie cameras", and I started to research the matter, asking a simple question: "What's your emotional experience taking selfies?" My sample included 522 clients, friends and colleagues and resulted in a few conclusions. As a photographer, I will explain the technicalities of the use of such camera, and as a career and self-development coach, the psychology behind it.

When all we had were regular cameras, it was operationally hard for someone to take their own photos. Those who had practice, learned to stretch their arms in the right angles to do so; or professionally, we used tripods and a remote. Most people, however, just had their photos taken by others. With that, they had to learn how to pose and therefore, become photogenic, by trial and error. Someone would take your photo, you would look at it and find out whether or not that smile or pose favored you. If it did, you would repeat it. If not, you would try something else. Even models and movie stars would pay attention to what they did with their faces and bodies to guarantee a great shot. Others, after some frustrated attempts, would label themselves "not photogenic" and avoid being photographed as much as possible. 

With the creation of smartphones and their selfie cameras, we were introduced to this new technology that allowed one to look at themselves and pose until they were happy with their smiles, and only then, push the button. For some, the technology was considered "magic" and an opportunity to be in control and always look great. Over ten years later, here are the reasons why some people still don't like selfies, and why selfies can be an obstacle to truly become photogenic.

It is all about self-knowledge, not selfie cameras

There are no magical tools. Becoming photogenic goes back to how familiar you are with your facial expressions. In my method, this study of your face is called "Body Mapping" and it is essential for one to look good on camera. In essence, regardless of which camera you use, or whether or not you can see your face before shooting, you will only excel at being photogenic if you don't run from practicing.

People who love having their photos taken do benefit from taking selfies because as they look at themselves and try different poses, they are accidentally "body mapping". They learn what angles and expressions work best for them, and eventually, by common sense, will repeat only the poses that work every time. On the other end of the spectrum, for those who don't like having their photos taken, the experience can be extremely frustrating. In general, those who think they are not photogenic avoid cameras at all cost and therefore, don't practice. If they hated being photographed before, it's not different when they get a camera for selfies. Actually, taking selfies can even make the entire "photoshoot experience" harder, since these people will be spending more time watching themselves struggle to find the right pose. Anxiety will make them shoot before they are ready. They will probably dislike their selfies and perpetuate the idea that they are not photogenic. Note that their lack of familiarity with taking photos is the real issue. They may be shooting under bad lights that emphasize dark circles and facial lines, getting the camera too close or in a wrong angle.

If any of that sounds familiar, I recommend embracing the challenge of taking as many selfies as you can. Keep the camera above yourself and at some distance (not too close to your face). Shoot photos facing forward and of both sides of your face, with tiny, medium and large smiles. Then look at the photos as if the subject were someone else. Try not to be emotional or delete the "bad photos". Look at them and preferably take notes of what you liked and disliked. Give it a rest, then a day or two later, read your notes and take a new setting of photos avoiding what you disliked. For example, I may think that if I smile too wide, many lines form around my eyes, so I will practice a medium smile. 

A common mistake is that people don't explore the gray area between what they like and dislike. Let's say I don't like my big smile because the lines around my eyes make me look older, and I go straight to a serious expression, which causes my cheeks to sink, also making me look old. Because I disliked both options, I may give up, assuming "I'm hopeless." Try not to go that way. I have been working with people from all ages and body types. By gaining knowledge of their bodies and practicing in front of a camera, anyone --and I truly mean anyone --can become photogenic. 

Try this: Get a small tripod for your phone and use the camera in the back, instead of the selfie camera. This way, you will practice like models do, and this offers multiple benefits. By looking at the camera in the back and not seeing your face, you need to focus on what you are doing with your eyes, smile, the positions of your head. Take your time, pose and before pushing the remote button, think about what you are doing with every part of your face. Then look at that one photo and see if the result was good or bad. If it was bad, again, don't delete it. Analyze it and put into words what went wrong. Is your smile too big or too tiny, does it look fake? Are your eyes too open and you seem uncomfortable? Take notes so you won't repeat the same mistakes. Also take notes of what works and try to repeat it. 

Selfies can be fun if you are a natural, or later on, when you are more experienced. While the camera in the back of your phone will provide valuable training not only for you to become more photogenic, but also more confident to pose for any photographer. 

For more, read my article 4 Tips to Become More Photogenic for Life!

Men Need Selfies, Too: A Snapshot of PictureCure

Men’s Style written by Paul Moon from The New York Times

Do you ever stare in the mirror, hoping to summon unseen powers behind the glass to improve the way you look or feel? Most men do, whether after turning a certain age, gaining the first hint of a beer belly, noticing a bald spot or just having a bad morning. We both know that mirrors are merely rays of light, reflections of how we already see ourselves physically and psychologically. But if you are still of the mindset that men don’t look at their reflection twice, think again. A 2014 Today/AOL Body Image survey revealed that men worry about their appearance more than family, career, or health concerns. Of this pool, 53 percent of participants said they don’t like having their pictures taken because they don’t have six-pack abs or feel they will be judged for another shortcoming in standard manhood.

That said, if you want a real boost to your self-esteem, trash the mirror and pick up a camera, insists Liza Andrews, founder of PictureCure, a New York City-based agency that offers innovative workshops on personal reinvention with photography therapy. “Mirrors play off our emotional interaction with complexes we are reluctant to shed,” says Andrews. “This is the tug of war between criticism and compliments. In contrast, cameras produce the documentation of a static moment in our lives, making it easy to evaluate how we look and how we may improve. Results are more attainable through this process of studying how we actually appear.”   

After using photography therapy for two years to recover from a severe hormonal imbalance, which made her lose hair, weight and her positive self-image, Andrews developed a transformational photography and self-esteem program for men and women. Her work started out as a charitable service for cancer survivors in different states of remission or physical disarray. All were in need of a positive outlook while carrying on after experiencing disease and trauma. Through workshops tailored to each individual’s concerns and goals, Andrews helped each undergo transformation with conversations and photographs captured along the way.

In its evolution, over the past decade, PictureCure has photographed clients nationwide, including me. Being an actor in a sea of thousands of twenty-something male actors hungry to play the part—a respectable part, that is—I needed professional shots when I went to see Andrews. Sure, she took rather dapper photos that I could confidently share with industry pros. The bonus of working with her, however, was learning what faces make me look best in pictures and what attributes I should always emphasize. Whether a ginormous movie camera or smartphone turns to me now, I know how to muster a natural smile or devilish smirk with the right symmetry of my face and pose to go with it.

Liza Andrews is writing You Beyond the Mirror, a book about the power of photography therapy. Wouldn’t this world be a more cheerful place if in the process of taking great pictures for dating profiles, job applications and auditions, we also felt more confident about ourselves? Looking for your best self? It may just be in the right picture.